Stripper heels and micro-shorts
I went on a date this summer with a girl wearing short shorts and four-inch heels. It was like she got distracted halfway through getting dressed and forgot to finish the process—and the result was über-trashy. Not exactly take-home-to-Mom material.
—George, 29
—George, 29
Distracting (and potentially dangerous) accessories
The only time I was on a date and I thought, What was she thinking? was when the girl showed up wearing a Gilligan-esque bucket hat and strange cloglike shoes that she tripped over the entire night. The major takeaway from this story: Don’t wear anything below the ankles that was inspired by the Dutch.
—John, 22
—John, 22
All your favorite trends—at once
My date once wore Uggs, a long, giant wooden beaded necklace and big, bug-eyed sunglasses. Worn separately they might have been fine, but together it spelled disaster.
—Matthew, 29
—Matthew, 29
Whale-tail-flaunting pants
Thongs: They have their place. But that place isn’t five inches above low-riding jeans. Belts were invented for a very, very good reason.
—Glenn, 35
—Glenn, 35
OshKosh B’Gosh-inspired gear
I would be mortified if a girl showed up to a date in overalls. I can’t think of any legitimate occasion—outside of milking cows—where that dress code would be considered appropriate. And if our date did involve milking cows, I think I have bigger concerns than what she’s wearing.
—Stephen, 23
—Stephen, 23
Harem pants
Those weird high-waisted pants that get wide in the legs and then taper at the ankle? Those are the worst.
—Joe, 28
—Joe, 28
Fluffy, frilly stuff
I met a cute artsy chick while visiting a friend in San Francisco and invited her to go wine tasting in Napa. While I’m not sure there’s a dress code for wine tasting, she definitely broke some rules: Her ensemble consisted of Sherpa boots and a gigantic wool poodle skirt. I spent the entire evening trying to convince myself that heads were turning because of my date’s stunning beauty, not her hideously fluffy outfit.
—Rob, 26
—Rob, 26
Athletic gear at non-sporting events
Girls can look adorable in a team jersey, but preferably with sweats or boy shorts. But when we go out at night, it’s better to keep the 88-covered sports gear at home.
—Rick, 39
—Rick, 39
Glitzy, trendy overkill
I met this amazingly attractive girl at a concert, but on our first actual date, she showed up in the skimpiest jean shorts, leather high-heeled boots, a shiny tube top and—the clincher—sparkly flesh-color leggings. I was totally embarrassed because this date was a daytime lunch outing, not a night on the town! The thigh bling is what really killed it.
—Vincent, 38
—Vincent, 38
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